Avoiding Hope

I'm 11DPO today. I have been having a lot of cramping, particularly overnight, and I woke up this morning and expected to be greeted by AF and there was nothing. I stopped spotting about 24 hours ago. The spotting overall was pretty light. On both of my prior injectables cycles I have gotten AF on 11DPO with spotting for 1-3 days in advance.

I'm trying to fight it, but it is hard not to be hopeful. I know that hope in general is a good thing and without being hopeful it would be hard to keep going with the very difficult TTC process, but I find that whole cycle of hope and then disappointment each cycle to be difficult. I have been so focused on other things this TWW and had very low expectations given that the stimulation part of this cycle did not go well, so I would not be overly disappointed if the cycle was not successful. However, if AF shows up tomorrow or the next day, I will find it hard to keep avoiding hope in the interim. I will probably test tomorrow unless AF arrives beforehand.